


She's not here

by who_seeks_shall_find



Series: Life as I see it [86]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Family, Forgetting, Love, Memories, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, post-season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 07:58:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_seeks_shall_find/pseuds/who_seeks_shall_find
Summary: Felicity hated to see William crying. He's scared of forgetting his biological mom.





	She's not here

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of a series about Oliver's imprisonment and a year after it. This drabble takes place during Oliver's imprisonment. Oliver has been out of prison for 111 days.
> 
> The series will be updated once a day (if it's just possible). It's going to include 122 drabbles about Oliver, Felicity, William and other characters who are involved in their lives. It's going to take approximately four months to finish the series. The drabbles are linked to each other but they're NOT in a CHRONOLOGICAL order. That's why, there may also be gaps or blanks which are filled in later.
> 
> I wish that every character is respected without unnecessary hatred.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything

William was sitting on his bed in his room. He looked at a picture of his biological mother on her phone. He could feel his tears pooling in his eyes and he sniffled. Today had been one of those days when he missed his mother more than usually. Nothing special had happened and that was actually the point – he missed those normal and simple moments with his mom. He missed talking to her. He missed cuddling and hugging her. He missed the scent of her perfume.

William had noticed it was harder to remember her. He was scared of forgetting the way she spoke and laughed. He was scared of forgetting her favorite TV show or favorite color. Some aspects of grieving also invoked his guilt. Maybe he could have prevented her death. If he hadn’t stopped to talk to Chase, his mother might still be alive. If he had been smarter, his mother could be there, hugging him.

A tear rolled down William’s cheek and he switched off his phone. He couldn’t look at his mother’s smiling face anymore. William threw his phone on the bed and buried his face in his hands. Tears streamed down his cheeks and wrapped his arms around his knees. He squeezed his knees and cried silently. Every day it was harder and harder to remember small things. He couldn’t believe he was forgetting his own mother after everything. Living with the fear of forgetting about a loved one who passed away was exhausting and heart-breaking.

William heard a soft knock from the door and Felicity’s muffled voice asked: “Are you okay, William?”

William gulped and cleared his throat. He tried to hide his tears as he said: “I’m fine, Felicity.”

He knew he failed terribly and Felicity had heard that something was wrong. According to her, the Queen men were terrible liars. William was sure she was hesitating behind the door which, weirdly enough, made William felt better. He couldn’t help but smile through his tears. He could always trust Felicity having his back and taking care of him. 

William took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his hands before he rose to his feet. He went to the door and opened it. As he had expected, he found Felicity standing behind the door. She frowned as she saw William and she didn’t even bother to hide her worried expression. She opened her mouth to say something but the sound didn’t follow. 

She studied William’s face for a minute and after a while she took him in her arms without saying a word. William could feel a fresh wave of tears coming as he buried his face in Felicity’s shoulder. She stroked his hair as she asked tentatively: “What’s wrong? Talk to me, my sweet boy.”

“I’m forgetting her,” William blurted out and clung to Felicity shirt. 

“Your mother? You’re scared of forgetting your mother?” Felicity asked in a soft voice while she kept stroking his hair.

William nodded his head against her shoulder and mumbled: “I’m also scared of forgetting that she’s actually dead. A few nights ago I had this dream and it felt so real. In my dream she was still alive. She was laughing and smiling.”

William’s voice disappeared as he kept telling his dream. He took a ragged breath before going on. William explained through his tears: “When I woke up, I’d forgotten that she was dead. I’d forgotten that I couldn’t even talk with her on the phone anymore. I’d forgotten. Then the guilt came. And the grief. I felt like I was suffocating.” 

“Oh, William,” Felicity whispered and tightened her hold on William. She peppered the top of his head with small kisses and rocked them side to side.

“I’m terrified I will forget about those special memories we made together. While I’m thankful that the pain stings a little less, it makes me sad to know that so much time has already passed. With that passed time, I don’t remember things as if they happened yesterday. The thing I fear most is forgetting about the memories I made with people who mattered and who still matter to me,” William said in a small voice.

“I’m so sorry,” Felicity apologized and William could hear the pain in her voice. 

William shook his head and said with determination: “It’s not your fault.”

“It still doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry. I’ll always be sorry. You shouldn’t have had to go through all that,” Felicity said softly and placed her hand against the back of William’s head. William rested his head against Felicity shoulder and let her soothing words to calm him.

Felicity continued tentatively: “I once read telling stories about your past loved ones helps you to remember them. You could tell stories which help you to recall the best memories.”

“To whom could I tell stories about my mom?” William asked in a broken voice.

“You can always tell me,” Felicity suggested.

William tilted his head and took a step backwards. He looked at Felicity and he was speechless. Felicity rushed to say, misinterpreting William’s reaction: “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, no, no,” William exclaimed and shook his head before going on: “I want to tell you about her. I just didn’t believe you would like to listen to stories about my biological mother.”

Felicity offered him a radiant smile as she informed him: “I’d love to listen to your stories. I know your mother was an amazing woman.”

“How do you know that?” William asked surprised.

“I know that because of I’m looking at the young man she raised. He’s smart and compassionate. He’s loving and considerate. I love you more than I can ever tell,” Felicity said and William saw moisture in her eyes.

Felicity touched William’s cheek with her fingertips and whispered: “I love you.”

William blinked back his tears and said: “I love you too, Felicity.”

They looked at each other for a while until William crashed his body against Felicity’s. Felicity wrapped her arms around William’s shoulders and sighed deeply.

**Author's Note:**

> Update for tomorrow:   
> Felicity and Oliver have a lot to talk about. It's time for a late-night conversation.


End file.
